Now, lest it be thought that anyone is mocking this body type we should hasten to point out that it is this form of femininity* which has been worshipped as the Earth Mother in many times, and in many lands. Thus, steatopygia was the very essence of feminine beauty as this pre-historic statuette so aptly displays.
|BABY GOT BACK!|
As does Ass Crack Rock, the neolithic monument located just outside of modern day Butte, Montana.
|LOCATED ALL OVER THE NORTHWEST THE SPIRITUAL SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE MIGHTY MONOLITHIC GLUTES HAS YET TO BE DETERMINED|
Can we find our very own Earth Mothers in modern day America? Let us begin our quest right here at the shed. Oh, Farm Girl?
Better research thoroughly...
|NO STEAT IN THAT SEAT!|
Even when greeting the building inspector, we have to rule out Farm Girl as a modern day Earth Mother.
|I GOT YOUR "LOCAL ORDINANCE" RIGHT HEAH!|
No, we will have to look farther than Farm Girl for pre-historic perfection.
Let's check out our roving reporter, Vida G. (Again!)
|IT'S A DIRTY JOB|
|BUT DOG-GONE IT SOMEONE HAS TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE!|
Looks like Vida gets a pass on the mass of the, erm, rump.
Hmmm! This is depressing! I know, lets check out the beach, boardwalk and town of Belmar, NJ. Gotta be a little steat on the street down there, wouldn't you think?
|WHY, THIS IS JUST AWFUL!|
|SADLY, I FEAR, NO EARTH MOTHER HERE.|
Gee. What about Walmart?
|THAR SHE BLOWS! NOW WE'RE TALKIN'!|
You just have to seek the proper venue. Let us delve deeper into the matter!
|NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEWHERE!|
|STEAT MEAT IF E'RE THERE WAS!|
Now Lets check so called celebrities, shall we?
Examine, if you will, one Sophie Vergera:
|SOPHIE VERGERA? SADLY, A NO-STEAT SEAT.|
Or Sophie Turner, while we are on the subject of Sophies?
|HMM. WHAT IS THIS POST ABOUT AGAIN?|
Sadly we must conclude that Ms. Turner lacks steat.
Olympian steat? Impossible!
|CLOSE BUTT NO CIGAR|
Okay lets wrap this up; we're all getting a little behind in our work. What about the most over-exposed rump of all? Steat, or no steat?
|I THINK NO KARDASHIANIC STEAT ON|
|HOUSTON, WE HAVE A PROBLEM!|
|THE LOLLYPOP IS STEATOPYGIAN FOR SURE.|
Enough! Now you know what S is for. What you are probably wondering is why?
*Yes I know, males display these characteristics too.
IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER!!! This post will offend nearly everyone. If you are a woman, a child, steatopygian, politically correct, metro sexual, silly, overly sensitive, a Wal-Mart shopper, or a member of any government agency or are employed by any human resources department or law firm of any kind:
DO NOT VIEW THIS POST!